Bios for Ronnie, Clyde and Lincoln
Lincoln: The middle child in the family of 11 siblings, Lincoln Loud has always been a rather excited fellow when Christmas was coming.
Everyone: Heck Yeah!
Lily: Poo poo!
Lincoln: Okay, then! *He began to play the film*
*The film opens with four different foods, popcorn, some fudge stick thing, a hot dog and a cup of soda*
Lynn: Oh goodie. More talking food.
Popcorn/Fudgsicle/Hot Dog/Soda: It's a groovy time for a movie time. So grab your gal, and grab a seat But don't forget to get something to eat. Delicious meat, a nutritious meat.
Lola: What is going on?
Lily: *giggles enjoying the dancing and singing food*
Lori: Well, whatever's going on, Lily seems to enjoy, uh, WHATEVER is happening.
Hot Dog: You can't beat my meat for a special treat!
Soda: Sucking on me is really neat!
Bobby: That just sounded wrong...
*Lincoln's stomach growled*
Lincoln: Man, now I'm getting hungry.
Lana: Me too.
Lori: I'll be right back. *Goes into the kitchen*
Popcorn/Fudgsicle/Hot Dog/Soda: Don't be a jerk, and don't be a fool Be a good neighbor and follow these rules... *They are cut off as, apparently, a heavy metal band consisting of a gumdrop, box of icecaps, pretzel and nachos cuts them off, with the pretzel checking the tune of the guitar*
*Lori came back with a bowl of popcorn, and a big bottle of Cola*
Lori: I brought the pop- What's going on?
Bobby: Apparently, the intro of the movie, but we got, so far, a bag of popcorn, a fudgsicle, hot dog and cup of soda singing and now there's apparently a gumdrop, box of icecaps, pretzel and thing of nachos in some form of a heavy rock band.
Lincoln: -and the pretzel is lightly stringing his guitar.
Lola: This ought'a be one interesting movie.
Luna: The movie didn't start, yet, and I already love the opening.
Lola: Of course do, Luna.
Popcorn/Fudgsicle/Hot Dog/Soda: What are these rules?
Lincoln: I don't think that'll happen ANY time, now...
Popcorn/Fudgsicle/Hot Dog/Soda: ...Indecent exposureis a Class 2 felony. *The heavy metal music increases in volume and the gumdrop comes up to the Hot Dog and pushes him down*
Lynn: What the-?!
Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!
You came here. Watch it.
Don't like it? Walk out.
We still have all your fucking money.
Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm sitting there!
I am everywhere at once
and I will cut you up.
If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife.
Do not explain the plot.
If you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Your money is now our money
and we will spend it on drugs.
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be considerate to others,
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.
Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets.
Run over it after the show.
If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid
and dissolve your testicles
and turn your guts into snakes.
This is a copyrighted movie for Time Warner.
If I find you've sold it on eBay,
I will break into your house
and tear your wife in half!
*Que epic badass guitar solo to the end when they finish up and there's an explosion behind them*
Luna: YEAH!!
Lola: Ow, Luna! That was right in my ear!
Luna: Apologies, but that was just flippin' awesome!
Lincoln: I feel like this should be something played at the beginning of every movie!
Lori: Oh, guys. The movie is starting.
Lana: Okay! *Silence* ...wait, how long will this intro last?
Lisa: Judging by the show's comedy, probably very long.
Lana: Oh... So, does anyone know what we can do to past the time?
Lori: Wanna watch a clip of the show on YouTube?
Everyone else: Sure!
Lily: Poo poo!
Lori: Okay, then. *Searches through her phone and finds the intro to the show's game* Whoa, THIS is interesting
Bobby: What is?
Lori: This show has it's own game!
Everyone else: Really?!
Lori: Yeah! And to cut time, I'd figure we'd watch the first cutscene!
Lynn: Then what are you waiting for?! Play it!
Lori: Okay! Okay! Jeez! *She plays it* Though, this may have different animation than on the show.
Lola: Fine by us!
*Shake comes in the house*
Shake: Well, what's this little to do?
Frylock: My damn mail.
Shake: And yet, it is in my hand. Explain that...to Nasserist!
Frylock: Shake, Shake do you see anything from a golf course in there?
Lincoln: Golf course?
*Shake checks the mail*
Shake: "Jersey Pines, South Jersey's most prestigious urban golf course".
Lynn: Man, I would love to check that out.
Lola: Of course you would.
Frylock: What does it say?
Shake: Ugh! Junkmail.
Frylock: What does it say? What does it say?
Just to say
ATHF (LH, A): "Brawl In the Family" and "No Such Luck" are rewritten in a form of which "Brawl In The Family" Is similar to the rewrite by YoshiPlayer15, and "No Such Luck", to put it short, isn't canon and blah, blah, blah. Okay! Now for...
The Polar Express: "Brawl In the Family" and "No Such Luck" go their ways in the show and "No Such Luck" ends with Lisa telling them that they were all acting dumb and so, Lincoln stopped wearing the suit, but Lincoln is now a shell of his former self.
Teaser
Narrator: Not many days ago, on Christmas Eve of 2017, I was just sitting on the couch as my 10 siblings did what they would normally do. They are all believers in Santa, you see? Even my parents are. And since 2016, I had my doubts on the big man up North. But that all changed on that one Christmas night...
*The Loud sisters are getting prepared for Christmas Day, along with their parents, but the only brother, Lincoln, wasn't exactly doing anything. He just sat on the couch reading a comic, until he heard the sound of a bell*
Lincoln: Huh? *He looked around to find no bells ringing. Then, drawing the attention of him and his whole family, everything started to shake. They were all confused and shocked as to why everything was shaking. A heater released steam and the sound of a whistle and the Louds all looked over to see what was going on, and they saw that there was several lights beaming and passing outside*
*The scene cuts to Lincoln, with his family behind him opening the door to reveal a train, stopping right in front of them*
*The scene then cuts to the side of the train stopping and to reveal a tall man, the conductor of the train, in a suit with a hat and mustache. The conductor of the train stood there as the Loud family came closer to him*
Conductor: Well, ya coming?
Lincoln: *With his family behind him* ...Where?
Conductor: Why to the North Pole, of course! This is The Polar Express! *The camera zooms out from the conductor and passes around 8 cars to the engine, with the smoke fading off the front, to reveal a red Milwaukee Road F6* All Aboard! *After he said that, the train started off, blowing steam into the camera and the light of the coaches passing to reveal in golden lettering "The Polar Express"...